Saturday, February 18, 2012

The box of Titans


Oh, lookie here! It appears as though I have a package labelled 'action figures' waiting for me from the United States postal service. What thrills! What suspense! What a contradiction in a blog where my supposed objective is to clear away a house full of toys.


Upon unwrapping it, I was shocked to be met with my old friends, Steve McNair and Eddie George, formerly of Tennesee Titans fame. But of course, I wasn't really surprised. I ordered them a week ago.


Emmitt Smith ran with the best of them. Eddie George was a fierce blocker for his quarterback. And in the fourth quarter, Randy Moss was excellent at getting out of the way.

They're hardly action figures, because they're modelled after certain poses, and feel rather fragile, but they're marketed as action figures all the same. Eddie and Steve are from a collectible series of McFarlane toys, from 2001 and 2004 respectively, so they're only going to appreciate in value, but I'm not interested in keeping these fellas boxed up. They wouldn't like that, and it's far beyond me to evoke the ire of a pair of pro athletes.

Right after the snap, we have to burst up the seam.


Then, we have to break through the middle. Eddie George was king of this.


Finally, there's sticky tape. I hate it when the opponent uses sticky tape.


Stellar. Now let's get a look at those bad boys in their finery.


This is an exact replica of Steve McNair with his offensive line of 2004. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to get the tiny little bit of metal on his foot to fit in the hole and keep him upright, so I have to balance him like a drunkard. Champion move, Tony.


Eddie George, on the other hand, stays firmly in place. For this reason, he's stoic, but hardly efficient on the football field, garnering a 0.0 rushing average. At least McNair in his current state is able to fall over for a short gain.


Eddie: "I don't get it, why do we have two balls?"
Steve: "Because we're boys, Eddie."

4 comments:

  1. Upon closer inspection, I saw that I had accidentally thrown out the additional piece of metal necessary to make McNair stand.

    I guess these are the things you miss when you're pretending Eddie George is a horsey.

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  2. I knew you'd come over to the dark side soon enough. First you kept a toy, now you are buying toys!

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    Replies
    1. I prefer to think of them as decorative pieces.

      ...Am I in denial?

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