Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Ratted out


"Mozzarella, my darling, my precious, my magnum opus! Though the toy empire appears to be crumbling before us like Troy itself, know that our love is stronger than fate. I shall protect you from the dire hand of treachery, until the bitter end!"


"Oh damn, there's the hand."


"Tarry, you wicked tyrant! How can you play games with our lives, only to throw us aside when you deem us obsolete? Years of loyal servitude, and how do you repay us? To be stuffed in a closet, in the garage, in a funky-looking plastic tub for a decade, and then, finally, thrown to the jackals of the world? You bastard! Leave her be! You will never take her!!"


"..."


"Oh hell no, bitch is yours."


"Well, that was interesting. What was with all the big fancy words?"

"I watched Shakespeare in Love."


"...It was terrible."

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