Krillin Unleashed

You know what really whets my whistle? Unboxing videos. When somebody's got themselves a brand new console, or a collector's edition boxset, or whatever... watching them unveil each packaged item, leering at it with lust, counting down the days until we too get the chance to unbox.

...Does it still have the same impact if that toy has been sitting in your room for the last nine years? I dunno. Let's find out!


This is a Krillin figure from the Striking Z Fighters series. He features his trademark Destructo Disk, and a table to take his fury out on. He has been sitting on my wall as a decorative piece since 2002, gazing out from his plastic prison with a melancholy grimace upon his face.

Notice the spiderweb dangling lazily over the top? Spotted the layers of dust caked upon the plastic containment? Apparently, I don't clean my room very much. And I don't really recall ever touching him again since planting him up there all those years ago.

Who knows why exactly I wanted a Krillin on my wall. Granted, he's my favourite character from the Dragon Ball franchise, and this particular figure looks pretty badass (and bald, as Krillin was during his best years), but for a fourteen year old to make such a curious decision seems odd.

Granted, I was (and still am) an odd young man, but I just can't decipher the logic behind it.


Here are the other figures from this series, and clearly, Krillin is the one with the best action. All of the other ones look kinda fruity, really. Be it Goku's hand-twisting action, reminiscent of assembling invisible balloon animals, the Great Saiyaman's double-arm chop that looks more like he's losing his balance, or Perfect Cell's ability to spin his fucking wrists, Krillin has them trumped.

I don't know about you, but I'm excited to unleash Krillin and his famous Destructo Disk upon the world. Hide your mountains, here he comes!

Fantastical. Krillin breathes his first gasp of air.


So obviously, the first thing I attempted was for Krillin to fling his Disk at a nearby enemy (that sounds really naughty if you read it wrong), and the results were... hmm, I dunno.

I followed the instructions as best I could.


I placed "destructo disk" into his right hand. Not his wrong hand, but his right hand. The surface could have been more solid, I suppose, but it certainly wasn't sand or jelly. It should have sufficed. Then, I pushed on his head, causing the right arm to swing launching the "destructo disk"! Alas, disappointment, and one more menacing Koopa Troopa roaming the bedroom.

With that not exactly being a world-beater, I opted instead for thumping the living shit out of the breakable table.

Wow. So it seems that Krillin in toy form is just as futile as he is in the animated series. Oh well. At least now, he can put his past, locked away in a display-based prison, behind him. Free now to supervise the insides of my drawer at his leisure. Though now, I begin to ponder what kind of value a fully boxed Krillin would have... And indeed, whether or not his increasing value was a deciding factor behind not opening him up to begin with...

Oh crap. ...I'm sorry, young Tony. I'll make it up to you someday, I swear.