Who could have ever imagined that we would be talking about Bucky O'Hare in 2018, and it would actually be vaguely topical? For you see, over the last few years, a company known as Boss Fight Studio has been bringing the Toad Wars back for the modern era, producing an all new line of Bucky action figures. All of your favourites have made their glorious, highly articulated return - from Jenny all the way to Deadeye Duck. Still no sign of my dude Bruiser, though, and definitely no Willy DuWitt, as he is nobody's favourite.
Wave 3 drops this fall, and included among this batch is the villainous Storm Toad Trooper. You can grab a single Trooper for $34, or a two-pack for $65. If, however, you follow my long-term belief that the foot soldiers should greatly outnumber the heroes, they offer a Master Case Pack of twelve toads for the low, low price of $420.
If you have over $400 in expendable cash that you can splurge on imaginary frog enemies, then fuck you, you have too much money. And now, too many frogs.
Look at that! I have two now.
The Storm Toad Troopers were your average minion. They all looked the same, and were mostly there to be disposed of effortlessly as Bucky and his comrades spouted one-liners where they declared them to be 'slimy fly eaters' and whatnot. In hindsight, that sounds racist as fuck, and I don't approve. But it was a different time, and between this and Danger Mouse, it seems as though amphibians were typically considered to be assholes.
I did a quick Google search to see if I could find more examples of toad villainy, but typing 'frog enemies' merely led to this website that looks like it was made in 2000. I fucking love FROGLAND, and I have added it to my bookmarks.
But enough on that. Let's talk Storm Toad Trooper.
He's a little bit dirty from years of lurking around the garage, but otherwise, he's pretty much in perfect condition. No chipped paint or doggy bite marks, which suggests that even Peppy thought he was too gross to bother gnawing on. He is riddled with nice little details, including a K on the side of his helmet that I will assume stands for Karen.
Most significantly, however, this is one of the very few toys where I was able to successfully locate his weapon, putting him in the 95th percentile of most dangerous figures in the entire house.
Fuck yeah, neon orange shotgun!
It fits quite nicely into his hand with a satisfying snap sound (I hope that wasn't actually the sound of it breaking), but his arms are positioned strangely, and his elbows aren't posable. As such, he actually looks more like he wants to engage you in a boxing match, which in and of itself is pretty badass, but likely unwise during a fight in outer space.
That being said, however, I did a quick search for packaged Storm Toad Trooper toys, and I can't help but shake the idea that something here is amiss. No, it's not the fact that it's in French, nor is it the revelation that the French word for frogs is krapos.
What I am now realising is that he came packaged with an entirely different weapon altogether.
So what gives, krapo la (that's Haitian Creole, but bear with me for a moment)?? Whose gun did you steal? Did it belong to Mighty Max, or Ace Duck? Maybe Papa Smurf on a really bad day? In any event, it seems to suit you quite well, so I'll just accept this transgression and feign ignorance when the police come knocking at my door.
After all, when you're hanging out with space toads, you sometimes just have to accept that they'll get drunk and cause all sorts of mischief. I've been dealing with Slippy for long enough to know this firsthand.
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